3月杂想 Random thought in March

Posted on 2021-03-17  261 Views


某种意义上这应该算博客搬家以后的第一篇文章,本该更有仪式感一些,不过脑袋里一团浆糊,就也是信马由缰了。

In some degree it is the first page after moving my blog, and it should have been more formal as a result. However I decide to let it go for my mind is confused at the moment.

Table of Contents

博客 Blog

首先讲讲博客吧。以前最早接触的时候就是了解的云服务器的形式,后来觉得太复杂了才换了Github page, 算是一个折中方案。所以现在租个VPS也是早有预谋。希望可以折腾出更多的可能性吧。

Let’s talk about blog first. I wanted to built a blog with a visual private server at first, but it had been too difficult for me so I turn to Github as a compromise. So it is no wonder why I rent a VPS now. I wish I can be more creative with it.

不过即便如此,GitHub page的博客还是让我收获良多。我一直有这种把想法诉诸文字的习惯,拥有一个个人站点对我来说就好像有了一个会24小时倾听的伙伴,无论我是得意忘形了,还是要表达负面情绪,都无需担心会产生什么负面影响。其次,我一直觉得大学很多课程学过了就忘了,没有留下什么深刻的印象,或者是什么实质性的成就。但是在博客上发一些读书笔记或者课程笔记什么的,就好像有了一本电子笔记本,我可以随时随地参阅它们,甚至能与全世界的爱好者分享,并创造出更多的价值。用有点儿不日常的话表述,这让我获得了一种关于“永恒性”的体验。这是我觉得最不可思议的收获。前几天一直用来记笔记的一本本子跟电脑一起泡水了,更让我决心多多用电子的方式来记录。

Even so, I still want to thanks my blog in Github. I always having the habbit of keeping a diary and having a personal website just like getting to know a friend who is 24-hour online for me. She will listen to every word I say regardless they are exciting or upsetting. What’s more, a website allows me to build my personal wiki, a knowledge base. I can refer to them when I need them, and even share them with people all around the world. Which I would like to describe using a formal tone, that is I can gain a feeling of infinity with this. This is the most amazing experience and marvellous value I think. Btw, one of my favourite notebook soaked in water the other day, which makes me determine to use electronic way to take note more.

所以,我应该会把这个一隅之地努力维持下去。提一点自己也不知道能否实现的期望吧。最近在努力学英文,所以想把博客搞个双语版本,虽然难度有点高。然后建立了个人wiki的子站点,希望多多充实wiki的内容,让自己不要那么浅薄。博客主站点应该就是放一些日常想法,吸取了上一个博客的经验,这次语言力求平实,杜绝花里胡哨的引用和各种情绪描写,毕竟它的本质应该是记录而非文学刻画。过犹不及,太陷进去了反而失真了。

So here are some of my expectation for this little corner. Firstly I want it can be able to support both Chinese and English although it is really hard and in someway dry and dull. Besides, I want to flesh out my wiki site and stimulate myself learning. Last but no less, I want its tone be simple and unadorned. Excessive embellishment is just a way of showing off which might lead to a distortion of the original meaning.

最近

最近生活真是乱糟糟,想找一个题目来概括都找不到。觉得自己是一边在焦虑一边在逃避。明明知道到了“在考研出国就业”这个选择题里面三选一的时候了,但是就是没有去做功课。今天跟姜子牙姐姐们吃饭,听她们说准备签留学中介了,一下子又听舍友说准备公务员考试、准备考研,觉得自己缺乏这些信息,也缺乏获取渠道。再一想到真正缺乏的是知识和能力,就陷入一种“多线程”导致宕机的状态里面。再加上这学期还要找实习,还有堪堪20学分的课,一个个都是big task,不知道应该先做哪个。唉,其实都是缺乏直面的勇气。

不过也有开心的事情。纪录片的课和深度报道的课都跟有趣的小伙伴找到了还不错的选题;前几天电脑泡水了,主板和屏幕背后都是水,屏幕已经花成了彩虹条的程度,把它拆开吹了一晚上居然修好了;修电脑的时候网上冲浪,又发现了单片机,觉得太有趣了,有空一定买个树莓派来玩玩;mycroft相关的同人文有令人惊喜的大粮仓;寒假的时候把在家里积灰的小提琴拿出来,自己瞎搞没什么成就,但是沉迷下来琢磨细节的感受很神奇,网上看视频听独奏曲也是美妙;前几天收到马老师的邮件回复,老师的语气好真诚,让人感念;春天也来了,校园里常常能看到满树繁花,选上了喜欢的课,老师带着一个班的同学一起读国关文献,从树底下赶过去听课的时候,觉得真是幸福。

希望自己能够快快理清这些乱麻,找到正确的努力方向吧。目前的打算是出国和考研两手抓,打算在6月或者7月把雅思成绩考出来,所以最近在努力补英语短板。国关的知识wiki也在缓慢整理。跟以前经常吹水的小伙伴没怎么聊天了、短暂放下了一些爱好和出游计划,这些都是遗憾又无奈的事情。

成长

用了一个宏大的小标题,其实真正要说起来也没太多好说的。第一个就是假期的时候跟爸妈吵架,被批评“缺乏社会经验”,不得不承认的确是的,虽然厚着脸皮绝对不会在他们面前承认。现在想想,一个就是拉不下脸去跟人打交道,还是秉持最小打扰原则,无必要不发言,觉得不太好。很多同学向师兄师姐询问经验的,这的确是一个很好的消息渠道。

另外一点就是,以前跟人打交道的时候总想着要理解和尊重别人的意见,现在觉得自然地表达自己的看法更重要。含蓄可能在追求效率的现代并不是那么美德的东西了。